privilege or bane?

when i was young, my parents were quite protective. i had to report everything i did, whether i was going out with friends or i was staying back at school for extracurricular activities. i couldn't sneeze without them finding out about it, sooner or later...most of the time sooner than calculated! being the adventurous and rebellious one of the family, i constantly pushed the limits of their boundaries. i never did anything downright outrageous, for i knew my chances would be nil. but pushing the limit a little at a time eventually brought about a satisfactory arrangement for both parties.

of course, to acheive that goal, i was constantly at loggerheads with my parents. especially when i was younger, i could not understand their reason. what i saw was only constant denial of my desires. i could not see that they were doing it out of a natural instinct to protect and preserve their progeny. more importantly, they were doing it out of love, to protect and to keep me safe from harm. to shelter me from the painful and realistic world. to reduce any hurt i may encounter in the process of trying to grow up.

time opened my eyes, and my heart. i grew to see their point of view.

when my parents had to undergo the painful process of losing their loved ones, i finally understood their act of sheltering me. you wish that you could transfer whatever they felt to you. you wish that you could reduce their pain, or even better, totally obliterate the cause of pain. you wish that you could smooth their worried brows, wipe away their tears, and shoo away the desperation and desolation they feel. if possible, you wanna wrap them up in cotton and protect them from all the hurt in the world. to replace the shadows in their souls with the sunshine of their smiles. for their hurt is your hurt, their pain, yours.

and then, u realise that u have finally understood what it means to love someone. and it is both a privilege and a bane. for you would not trade it for anything in the world, yet you will not be able to fight the feeling of helplessness when you fail to acheive the one thing that is important to you, that is, to protect your loved ones from getting hurt.