making a stand

recently, students were creating headlines in the local dailies when a group of undergraduates tried to bully another group of students from the same university. a lot of "who-hah" was made, and a lot of police reports were done too. but the ending of the tale has yet to come because a committee was set up to study and find a solution to the matter.

first and foremost, it was terrible that the situation could have happened and security guards at the scene did nothing to prevent it from getting worse. it is also bad that the students responsible for heckling the other party were not immediately reprimanded for their act. what sort of message is this sending to the public? is it ok to make havoc simply because there is strength in numbers? should not the bystanders who had the authority to do something be reprimanded for not doing anything? for what is the use of "security" guards if not to provide security?

there is no excuse for bullying, regardless of whether u are students acting in the name of "righteousness" or whether u are a greedy country armed with superior weapons and no brains. why are those able to do something so passive? yes, the lines have to be drawn and the situation analysed, but in the meanwhile, how many more victims are to be sacrificed while the powers that be forms a committee, sit on the problem and let it stew?

if the situation had gone out of hand and someone was hurt...or worse, will it then be the right time to do something? when the situation threatens to harm ur own interests, perhaps then it will be the time to take a stand?

let there be no doubt that there is still fairness in this world. let there be no doubt that the wrong should be punished and the right be protected. and while the powers in control debate about the political rightness of it all, let the innocent be protected for they are the true victims in this game we call politics.

contemplation

one day, i want to take a long walk, through a beautiful green forest. where the tree tops can barely be discerned, and only the sunlight streaming through can mark where the leaves touch the sky.

where the birds hop and pick at the seeds and berries, and thrill at each other, boasting the bounty of their find. where the wind gently whisper in ur ears, and the leaves rustle in agreement at whatever they say. where the grass is soft and luxurious, and richer still are the smells of the rich earth and its gifts.

every step i take will be a step towards paradise. every step further from the madness of the world. and keeping me company will be the mountain brook, clear and sweet. where the fishes leap and play among the pebbles and the reeds.

and when i reach my destination, flowers are waving their gaily heads at me, bursting with colour and delight. the cliff will reveal a view so gorgeous, my eyes will weep. for beyond lies what i seek.

and i will spread my arms and take a leap, and fly like the bird, free and weightless, into the blue space i seek.

to be or not to be?

decision making...when u start making decisions that will set ur course of life, it means that u have reached adulthood. it used to be pretty tough to make decisions...what course should i study? what do i want to become? studying a particular field doesn't necessarily mean that u will end up making a career from it in the future. and most young people on the threshold of that bright thing called future hesitate to be bold enough to make the decision, for fear that they will have to live with it for the rest of their life. so they leave the decision to their parents...and should they end up unhappy, they have someone else to blame.

making decisions was a new experience for me. having lived in a safe haven i was always sheltered from the bad, bad world, with my parents by my side. so when i stood by my decision to take up the course of my choice in university, i felt that i was on shaky ground. it took time to show my parents that i was answering a calling, that i was serious. but it felt good when i knew that they supported my decision.

after my first life mapping decision (hey! i wanted to make a career of it!) i felt empowered. i felt bold. perhaps a bit rash. nothing could stop me. perhaps that was why i decided to fall in love for the first time, against my mom's advice. perhaps that was why i decided to stand up for a friend who was wronged, and ended up being ostracised by half of my course mates. regardless, they were my decisions. good, bad or ugly, i stand by them. no regrets, no looking back, no what ifs...well, i try anyway.

but then i realised there was another aspect to decision making. the important ones that will affect my life, affects those who are close to me too. and hence, i lost a bit of my brashness, my boldness. for though i may tread where others may fear, but my loved ones will be holding their breath, every single step i make. it was no longer about me, me, me. it became we. us.

there are still things i long to do. like volunteer for the red cresent, and lend my helping hand in international crisis. but how can i leave, when my family needs me more at home? for doesn't charity starts at home? i long to traipse the world with nothing more than a back pack and a good pair of shoes till my bank account stands at zero (not a long way off actually). but dropping everything and doing whatever may be my whim n fancy, is something my conscience refuses to accept. and so the internal conflict wages on, where obligation and responsibility becomes a dirty word and love and dreams fight with each other when they should on the same side of the fence.

i envy those who are brave, and strong enough to do what they really want. for though some may call u selfish or silly, i know. i know that u have to stand firm when u make those decisions. sometimes alone, when no one agrees. or if u are lucky, sometimes with those who love u, n understand u, n supports u.

at the end of the day, whatever ur decision, when u lie awake in bed at night, u alone will have to bear the full brunt of the decisions u make. and whether u have a good sleep or a restless night pretty much depends on u. for it will be ur conscience u will have to answer to at the end of the day.

my piece of sanity

where do u seek ur peace? when the world is crazy and ur mind is raging, where do u seek ur peace? when ur shoulders are drooping n ur eyes are red from fatigue, where do u seek ur peace? when u are lost and looking for a place to anchor ur emotions, where do u seek ur peace? when u had really hard day and ur muscles are aching, where do u seek ur peace?

one of my favourite "rites" is to turn on the computer, play my favourite music out loud to drown out the world and lose myself in writing...i can't stop..chatting with friends, writing emails, and pounding out my frustrations on the key board, almost like pounding away at whatever was bugging me.

taking a really long shower helps too. letting the water wash over u, carry away ur dusts of the day. let whatever that was bothering u slip over ur head, trickle pass ur eyelids, roll down ur back n off ur toes. ahhh....bliss....

going for a good walk, or cycling a hard mile and sweating it out. let the heat of ur anger steam and blow off with the passing wind. cool down, regain ur peace of mind, settle ur swinging moods and come back home with a smile instead of a frown.

but my favourite of all favourites? i reach for my hand phone, punch in the number automatically, and as i hear the phone start to ring, i almost hum with anticipation. and when i hear the voice, i release the breath i was holding...whoosh...there goes my pent up negative energy. going from grumpy to smiley is sometimes slow, but sure. and the days ahead don't look so gloomy and there is sunshine the next day. i can smile again, after i find my piece of sanity, my peace.