today, my friend had to make a difficult decision. 3 months and 3 days after his dog, itch, was diagnosed with renal failure, my friend had to decide that it was time to let go. as a vet, he was fully aware of that itch would be suffering if his condition was prolonged. all measures that could have been taken were carried out. at 12:34am, 30th april, 2006, itch went to heaven, with the help of my friend. some call it mercy killing, others know it as humane euthanasia. whatever the name, it is a means to end the pain and suffering of itch, quickly, painlessly, literally. but it will be a long, long time, before my friend will be able to let go of itch emotionally.
a vet is required to explain to a client the importance, the concept and the responsibilty of ending the suffering of a pet too ill to recover. why is it then, that we understand the need to make this decision for our pets, but deprive the option for our loved ones? when the time comes, why do we lack the compassion to stop their suffering and their pain, but most importantly, to let them die with the dignity that they had lived?
good bye itch, i hope that u will be happy in the evergreen fields of up above. u will be dearly missed, especially by your partners in crime, dunker and coffee. and your best friend.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
letting go...(part1)
one of life's inevitable experience is learning to let go....physically, mentally and emotionally. when u are a kid, u have to learn to let go of ur parent's hand, to take ur first step by yourself. then u learn to let go of the toy in your hand, and learn the joy of sharing. as u grow up, u learn to let go of ur favourite past times-watching tv, skipping rope, day dreaming, to make time for more important things like studying and getting good grades. then u learn to let go of the security of your child hood home to gain independence, knowledge and maybe a life partner.
but the hardest part of letting go....is learning to let go of your loved ones. remember how worried your parents are when you have to leave them to pursue your studies? remember how it felt to let go of your first love, not because love has died, but because you realise that love alone does not mean you are compatible. sometimes, death has already claimed your loved ones, but it doesn't mean you have learned to let go.
letting go means accepting that it is already in your past, that you have to acknowledge the burning pain in your chest and release it. that without you, your loved ones have moved away, whether into the other realm or simply out of your life. to let go means that you pick up the pieces of your heart, and your memories, and allow time to painstakingly put them back together again...but it will never be the same. you may learn to laugh again, or to even cry, but it does not mean that you have forgotten about them. merely, that you have learned that to continue living, you have to let go of the past, live in the present and look into the future. but time does not really heal the pain, nor make it go away, sometimes, time just allows you to learn to deal with the pain better.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
are weddings good for u?
how many weddings have u gone to? not counting ur own...especially for u singles/unmarried out there. for the unmarrieds (meaning u're in a relationship but haven't jumped yet!), at a wedding the inevitable question will be ...when's urs? and if u're single...do u have a boyfriend/partner? why don't u get one? (God forbid u have a life if u're single or unmarried) woe is it if the wedding u attend will be filled with relatives, then u wished the drink was stronger and they get too drunk to badger u.
if u get a wedding invitation, u might think, oh no! more expenditure!!! especially if u're not very close to the couple...then u think, to go or not to go (but of course, first u think happy thoughts for the lucky couple ;0) but if u don't get an invitation, n u hear of it later from another friend, u might think, whew, lucky me...or why wasn't i invited and feel hurt.
besides, weddings are also a chance to meet ur mutual friends n catch up on the latest gossips. u get to check out ur friends and see if they brought a partner, if they've gained weight, looks better/worse and see how they are doing generally, in comparison to u. and if u're single n lucky, u may meet someone special and start another wedding in motion. oh, and if u're lucky, the food will be good and the music tolerable (please let there be no karaoke!), and the drinks flowing!
so, what do u think? are weddings good for u? me? weddings are happy occasions to celebrate with my friends, as long as i don't get too many invites in a year...they're a reminder of time passing, my own single status, and they're bad for the pocket! anyways, i wish the couple whose wedding dinner i'm going to attend tommorrow a beautiful and lasting marriage...yum seng!!!
to the guest, weddings means that u have to give an appropriate gift...be it money or otherwise. in a year, if u attend ten weddings, it means u have to spend a minimum of $500 to $1000, depending on ur financial abilities. n, that's not it, for ladies, they have to get outfits and make-up, and hair-dos, and manicure, etc... and goodness, there better not be two similar outfits at the same wedding!!!
if u get a wedding invitation, u might think, oh no! more expenditure!!! especially if u're not very close to the couple...then u think, to go or not to go (but of course, first u think happy thoughts for the lucky couple ;0) but if u don't get an invitation, n u hear of it later from another friend, u might think, whew, lucky me...or why wasn't i invited and feel hurt.
besides, weddings are also a chance to meet ur mutual friends n catch up on the latest gossips. u get to check out ur friends and see if they brought a partner, if they've gained weight, looks better/worse and see how they are doing generally, in comparison to u. and if u're single n lucky, u may meet someone special and start another wedding in motion. oh, and if u're lucky, the food will be good and the music tolerable (please let there be no karaoke!), and the drinks flowing!
so, what do u think? are weddings good for u? me? weddings are happy occasions to celebrate with my friends, as long as i don't get too many invites in a year...they're a reminder of time passing, my own single status, and they're bad for the pocket! anyways, i wish the couple whose wedding dinner i'm going to attend tommorrow a beautiful and lasting marriage...yum seng!!!
Friday, April 28, 2006
savour...
does the poem from my previous entry seem familiar? some of u may remember it from tomb raider 1(the movie). read it, at least once. i think there's alot that's being said. i think, everytime i read it, i find something new. it's one of my favourite.
i love the first four lines, and i think that if we live our life like that, then no moment is wasted. when was the last time u slowed down n observe the sunset. the smell of freshly brewed coffee? the laughter of a child. some people try to put too much significance into any experience...oh, the movie wasn't up to my standard, the food was not well prepared...try n just savour it for what it is...sometimes at face value. savour the feel of a heart felt hug. ur first mouth of cold lemonade on a blistering hot day.
go on, savour ur breathe, the very sensation of feeling alive...
i love the first four lines, and i think that if we live our life like that, then no moment is wasted. when was the last time u slowed down n observe the sunset. the smell of freshly brewed coffee? the laughter of a child. some people try to put too much significance into any experience...oh, the movie wasn't up to my standard, the food was not well prepared...try n just savour it for what it is...sometimes at face value. savour the feel of a heart felt hug. ur first mouth of cold lemonade on a blistering hot day.
go on, savour ur breathe, the very sensation of feeling alive...
Auguries of Innocence - William Blake
To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.
A dove-house filled with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell through all its regions.
A dog starved at his master's gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.
A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.
A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-cock clipped and armed for fight
Does the rising sun affright.
Every wolf's and lion's howl
Raises from hell a human soul.
The wild deer wandering here and there
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misused breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher's knife.
The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won't believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be beloved by men.
He who the ox to wrath has moved
Shall never be by woman loved.
The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider's enmity.
He who torments the chafer's sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.
The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother's grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the Last Judgment draweth nigh.
He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar's dog and widow's cat,
Feed them, and thou wilt grow fat.
The gnat that sings his summer's song
Poison gets from Slander's tongue.
The poison of the snake and newt
Is the sweat of Envy's foot.
The poison of the honey-bee
Is the artist's jealousy.
The prince's robes and beggar's rags
Are toadstools on the miser's bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so:
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The babe is more than swaddling bands,
Throughout all these human lands;
Tools were made and born were hands,
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;
This is caught by females bright
And returned to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar
Are waves that beat on heaven's shore.
The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes Revenge! in realms of death.
The beggar's rags fluttering in air
Does to rags the heavens tear.
The soldier armed with sword and gun
Palsied strikes the summer's sun.
The poor man's farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric's shore.
One mite wrung from the labourer's hands
Shall buy and sell the miser's lands,
Or if protected from on high
Does that whole nation sell and buy.
He who mocks the infant's faith
Shall be mocked in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the infant's faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child's toys and the old man's reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.
The questioner who sits so sly
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.
The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar's laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour's iron brace.
When gold and gems adorn the plough
To peaceful arts shall Envy bow.
A riddle or the cricket's cry
Is to doubt a fit reply.
The emmet's inch and eagle's mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you please.
If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.T
he whore and gambler,
by the stateLicensed,
build that nation's fate.
The harlot's cry from street to street
Shall weave old England's winding sheet.
The winner's shout,
the loser's curse,
Dance before dead England's hearse.
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born.
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not through the eye
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light
To those poor souls who dwell in night,
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
A robin redbreast in a cage
Puts all heaven in a rage.
A dove-house filled with doves and pigeons
Shudders hell through all its regions.
A dog starved at his master's gate
Predicts the ruin of the state.
A horse misused upon the road
Calls to heaven for human blood.
Each outcry of the hunted hare
A fibre from the brain does tear.
A skylark wounded in the wing,
A cherubim does cease to sing.
The game-cock clipped and armed for fight
Does the rising sun affright.
Every wolf's and lion's howl
Raises from hell a human soul.
The wild deer wandering here and there
Keeps the human soul from care.
The lamb misused breeds public strife,
And yet forgives the butcher's knife.
The bat that flits at close of eve
Has left the brain that won't believe.
The owl that calls upon the night
Speaks the unbeliever's fright.
He who shall hurt the little wren
Shall never be beloved by men.
He who the ox to wrath has moved
Shall never be by woman loved.
The wanton boy that kills the fly
Shall feel the spider's enmity.
He who torments the chafer's sprite
Weaves a bower in endless night.
The caterpillar on the leaf
Repeats to thee thy mother's grief.
Kill not the moth nor butterfly,
For the Last Judgment draweth nigh.
He who shall train the horse to war
Shall never pass the polar bar.
The beggar's dog and widow's cat,
Feed them, and thou wilt grow fat.
The gnat that sings his summer's song
Poison gets from Slander's tongue.
The poison of the snake and newt
Is the sweat of Envy's foot.
The poison of the honey-bee
Is the artist's jealousy.
The prince's robes and beggar's rags
Are toadstools on the miser's bags.
A truth that's told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.
It is right it should be so:
Man was made for joy and woe;
And when this we rightly know
Through the world we safely go.
Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.
The babe is more than swaddling bands,
Throughout all these human lands;
Tools were made and born were hands,
Every farmer understands.
Every tear from every eye
Becomes a babe in eternity;
This is caught by females bright
And returned to its own delight.
The bleat, the bark, bellow, and roar
Are waves that beat on heaven's shore.
The babe that weeps the rod beneath
Writes Revenge! in realms of death.
The beggar's rags fluttering in air
Does to rags the heavens tear.
The soldier armed with sword and gun
Palsied strikes the summer's sun.
The poor man's farthing is worth more
Than all the gold on Afric's shore.
One mite wrung from the labourer's hands
Shall buy and sell the miser's lands,
Or if protected from on high
Does that whole nation sell and buy.
He who mocks the infant's faith
Shall be mocked in age and death.
He who shall teach the child to doubt
The rotting grave shall ne'er get out.
He who respects the infant's faith
Triumphs over hell and death.
The child's toys and the old man's reasons
Are the fruits of the two seasons.
The questioner who sits so sly
Shall never know how to reply.
He who replies to words of doubt
Doth put the light of knowledge out.
The strongest poison ever known
Came from Caesar's laurel crown.
Nought can deform the human race
Like to the armour's iron brace.
When gold and gems adorn the plough
To peaceful arts shall Envy bow.
A riddle or the cricket's cry
Is to doubt a fit reply.
The emmet's inch and eagle's mile
Make lame philosophy to smile.
He who doubts from what he sees
Will ne'er believe, do what you please.
If the sun and moon should doubt,
They'd immediately go out.
To be in a passion you good may do,
But no good if a passion is in you.T
he whore and gambler,
by the stateLicensed,
build that nation's fate.
The harlot's cry from street to street
Shall weave old England's winding sheet.
The winner's shout,
the loser's curse,
Dance before dead England's hearse.
Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born.
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not through the eye
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light
To those poor souls who dwell in night,
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
why blog?
we all want to leave a mark in this world...whether its visible or not, whether only u know about it...or the whole world...
some people accomplish great things...build monuments, create masterpieces of art or contribute to soceity....
some create atrocities...war...rape...murder...sometimes very apparent, sometimes insidious...
some do so quietly, enough to know themselves that they have done something significant, something which means something to themselves...
i guess blogging is just the common way now....especially if i write something crude, or sexually explicit or volatile... but for me, a platform for me to speak my mind...and hopefully not bore anyone to death...cheers...here's to a start!
some people accomplish great things...build monuments, create masterpieces of art or contribute to soceity....
some create atrocities...war...rape...murder...sometimes very apparent, sometimes insidious...
some do so quietly, enough to know themselves that they have done something significant, something which means something to themselves...
i guess blogging is just the common way now....especially if i write something crude, or sexually explicit or volatile... but for me, a platform for me to speak my mind...and hopefully not bore anyone to death...cheers...here's to a start!
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