tingles in my toes

its been a slow nite. cool. whispers of rain somewhere. but not enough to quench the heat. its rare i get the evening to myself. my prime time is normally filled with betty, the desperate housewifes, grissom, doc mart and mindless blogs. but tonight, with piles of laundry to do, mundane housekeeping up to my elbows, a pending presentation to prepare and bills and accounts to settle, i'm wasting my so called youth like a spring loaded yo-yo...about to bounce into action but the triggers' not sprung, for one reason or the other.

i want to be the persona that people blog about, who burns a path for others to follow. i want to be the one who live the LIFE, not read it in front of my computer screen. i want to feel tingles in my toes, adrenaline in my veins. not from listening to fort minor or from watching shutter, but from standing at the top of the tallest mountain in the world and looking down saying...i've conquered it all!!!

i was young once.
with my dreams to be someone.
i felt tingles in my toes once, when i felt the want and desire.
i felt adrenaline coursing through me once, when i thought the world was for my picking.
i felt inspired once, when i believed i could make a difference.
i felt i could climb mount everest once, before i had back aches and knee aches.
i felt invincible once, before i knew what was heart ache.
i felt like an equal once, before i learned about rights.

and now, i'm a aunty.
i look like one, dress less stylishly than most, i don't even have the bravado of their polished red talons! huh, i even whine like one!

so what's going to make my toes tingle?
when MY man pulls me close and leans near for a kiss.
and so i get back my tingles.
and perhaps some spirit for tommorrow's fight.
for when i see things in their rightful place in the sun, things don't look as bad or as half as lame-ass as i make them to be.
for poor excuses should not be the filmsy excuse to hold me back, or anyone else for that mattter.

what the heck. i should be the one, deciding who makes my toes tingles.