amazing....i seem to be obsessed with songs from this group called blue october...
perhaps its the amazing way how they manage to coax the guitar to sound so tender?
perhaps its the amazing heart-rending lyrics?
perhaps its the amazing tugging of my emotions when i listen to the songs?
amazing how our ears catch the song, our minds digest the words and our souls embrace the essence....
truly amazing...
AMAZING- by blue october
How am I supposed to breathe?
I try to relax. I touch your still frame
So I can watch you closer
And study the ways I believe I belong to you
I scratch at your waist line... your doll hair
I dig up the thought of how your eyes glow
So I make you my religion, my collision, an escape goat
So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?
(Chorus) Can you pretend I'm amazing?
I can pretend I'm amazing...
Instead of what we both know
I cut to the punch line baby
Can you pretend I'm amazing
Instead of what we both know
Now our history is for sale
And for that I apoligize
You see you're my only know how
The study of when I believe I belonged to you
You see I've made you into something delicious,
My sweet ghost
So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?
(Chorus)
Monday, July 09, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
music be the food of my soul
when i was young, the hormones and the angst of adolescence nearly drove me (and my parents) up the wall. the changes i was going thru was just too much for me to handle. i couldn't understand why i felt so frustrated, helpless, angry, alone, unloved. the feelings were not warranted and this made me feel even worse. i was not an easy person to be around with then, not that i am much better now, but the people around probably learned how to ignore me better...eh? :p
then, as now, i found a haven in music. i could envelope myself, dive deep into its fathoms and lose myself in the almost tangible quality of music. i listened to almost anything (screeching banshees was the one place i drew a line..... and whatever house is supposed to be). oldies from my parent's memories, chinese songs, hindi hits, classics...whatever that resembled the turmoil inside me. as long as i can just listen, without need to analyse, it would do. i didn't have to understand the lyrics, as long as i "felt" the music, it was fine.
the warm vocals of jacky cheong and the sad quality of anne murray was so close to the depressive state i was sometimes in that it almost seems i could hibernate in their songs. happy moods called for cheery songs. the opening whistles of the song "don't worry, be happy" always puts a skip in my step, no matter how bad the day. and of course, no maniacal bum/arm swinging (otherwise known as dancing) was complete without my favourite bass thumping R&B.
in fact, i can practically tag my memories by songs. crazy summer afternoons horsing around with my mate in uni to the jolly sounds of herman hermits. the sappy, saccharin syrup of david bedingfield during the courting by the lucky guy who got me hook, line n sinker. the almost weightless song, "leaving on a jet plane" seeming to carry my wheels when i finally learned how to cycle.
even now, not much has changed (weight/taxes/mundane crap aside). when i am in a mood ; maybe a patient under my care has died. an impending dateline. a breakup. my wedding. without music, it would all have passed quietly into the background, instead; the albums of my life are not merely "black n white silent movie type" memories, but rather, bursting in glorious technicolour and dbb surround sound system!!!!
then, as now, i found a haven in music. i could envelope myself, dive deep into its fathoms and lose myself in the almost tangible quality of music. i listened to almost anything (screeching banshees was the one place i drew a line..... and whatever house is supposed to be). oldies from my parent's memories, chinese songs, hindi hits, classics...whatever that resembled the turmoil inside me. as long as i can just listen, without need to analyse, it would do. i didn't have to understand the lyrics, as long as i "felt" the music, it was fine.
the warm vocals of jacky cheong and the sad quality of anne murray was so close to the depressive state i was sometimes in that it almost seems i could hibernate in their songs. happy moods called for cheery songs. the opening whistles of the song "don't worry, be happy" always puts a skip in my step, no matter how bad the day. and of course, no maniacal bum/arm swinging (otherwise known as dancing) was complete without my favourite bass thumping R&B.
in fact, i can practically tag my memories by songs. crazy summer afternoons horsing around with my mate in uni to the jolly sounds of herman hermits. the sappy, saccharin syrup of david bedingfield during the courting by the lucky guy who got me hook, line n sinker. the almost weightless song, "leaving on a jet plane" seeming to carry my wheels when i finally learned how to cycle.
even now, not much has changed (weight/taxes/mundane crap aside). when i am in a mood ; maybe a patient under my care has died. an impending dateline. a breakup. my wedding. without music, it would all have passed quietly into the background, instead; the albums of my life are not merely "black n white silent movie type" memories, but rather, bursting in glorious technicolour and dbb surround sound system!!!!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Not Taken is a poem by Robert Frost, published in 1916 in his collection Mountain Interval.
i was reading a book recently, and i chance upon this poem. i have always been intrigued by the meaning of the poem, and how it always seems to appear unexpectedly at moments in my life when i seem to be at a point where the roads diverge.
in retrospect, the most significant decision of my life was to agree when my mom suggested that i transfer to Sam Tet to continue my form six studies. by norm, i was supposed to proceed to another school after my high school, but my parents decided that i would be much too distracted if i was to go there. besides, Sam Tet was famous for its excellent STPM records. n my sis was already there.
of course, a change of scene did not deter me from getting involve actively in the extra-curricular activities, and soon i was involved in the english club. little did i know that meeting my club advisor's family would influence my life greatly. her son became one of my best buddies and her husband, a vet, introduced to me an option i didn't know i had. i found my life's passion for healing all creatures, big and small.
which lead me to vet school. i have memories n stories to last me a life time, and friends who stood by me thru thick n thin. it was a friend from vet school who introduced me to a special person. the man who would become the love of my life.
and it all could be back tracked to the point where i made the decision to take the road less travelled by, and THAT has made all the difference!
although sometimes when i am in my more pensive moods, i do look back and wonder about the road not taken....
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
The Road Not Taken is a poem by Robert Frost, published in 1916 in his collection Mountain Interval.
i was reading a book recently, and i chance upon this poem. i have always been intrigued by the meaning of the poem, and how it always seems to appear unexpectedly at moments in my life when i seem to be at a point where the roads diverge.
in retrospect, the most significant decision of my life was to agree when my mom suggested that i transfer to Sam Tet to continue my form six studies. by norm, i was supposed to proceed to another school after my high school, but my parents decided that i would be much too distracted if i was to go there. besides, Sam Tet was famous for its excellent STPM records. n my sis was already there.
of course, a change of scene did not deter me from getting involve actively in the extra-curricular activities, and soon i was involved in the english club. little did i know that meeting my club advisor's family would influence my life greatly. her son became one of my best buddies and her husband, a vet, introduced to me an option i didn't know i had. i found my life's passion for healing all creatures, big and small.
which lead me to vet school. i have memories n stories to last me a life time, and friends who stood by me thru thick n thin. it was a friend from vet school who introduced me to a special person. the man who would become the love of my life.
and it all could be back tracked to the point where i made the decision to take the road less travelled by, and THAT has made all the difference!
although sometimes when i am in my more pensive moods, i do look back and wonder about the road not taken....
Monday, January 22, 2007
amounts to nothing!
i have been slaving for the past few days, weeks i think. to get ready for a big event. but how can so much effort seems to amount to nothing? the mountain of errands seems to grow with a will of its own. getting so much done, more seems to pop out...do the errands multiply when we turn away? do they have this supernatural power to grow n grow?
help! i think i'm sinking!!!! i'm going to be glad when the wedding is actually over n i get to rest a little. it is beginning to seem like a herculean task. n to think we opted for a simple affair. i can't imagine running one on a grand scale! and i am not even doing this alone! despite the many hands, the work does not seem to lighten!
forgive my grousing, i just can't wait for the honeymoon..which reminds me...i haven't even plan for that yet!!!!
help! i think i'm sinking!!!! i'm going to be glad when the wedding is actually over n i get to rest a little. it is beginning to seem like a herculean task. n to think we opted for a simple affair. i can't imagine running one on a grand scale! and i am not even doing this alone! despite the many hands, the work does not seem to lighten!
forgive my grousing, i just can't wait for the honeymoon..which reminds me...i haven't even plan for that yet!!!!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
au revoir 2006
the new year has arrived, and yet i am still taking stock of the year that have passed. many things have happened, so fast, that some of it are quite a blur, waiting to be defined and filed and remembered. some are hiding, not really willing to be brought out again, others are almost painfully pressing itself onto the consciousness, unwilling to take a second seat at all.
i had one of the best chinese new year ever, the first i have ever celebrated in my own home, ipoh. of all my 28 years, we have always spent the chinese new year at the grandparents, either in alor star, penang or thailand. but this year was special. we had the honoured guest, my grandma, staying with us. it was a memorable time, with so many loved ones under our roof, laughter and food intermingling with plentiful of good spirits (of the intangible and the drinkable type).
it was the year i knew where to draw the line and say enough! i will not take anymore b*ll and left my previous employment before my senses left me. i also realised that my most precious priority was my family and my loved ones, and that there was more to life than just earning the buck.
i moved back home to where my heart actually is, and every moment i managed to spend with my grandma was like a piece of the rarest and most precious jewel to keep. for little did we know that she would leave us and join my grandfather for eternity. it also gave me the chance to be my mother's side while we try to use our pain to fill a void that will never be the same again.
through the grief, an anchor held me steady and where one journey was ended, another began. kelvin's proposal was my happiest moment, yet a sad one too. for i would dearly love to have ah ma by my side on the day that i said "I DO".
i am lucky to meet a like-minded boss and start building my career in ipoh, but luckier still that it gave my family the chance to have our best trip ever. going to australia felt more like a homecoming than a visit with so many of our relatives there. its almost like a parallel home.
in a nutshell,
i have loved and lost,
took the road less travelled,
deconstruct and rebuild,
lived some traditions, made some new ones,
said "I do" and took a huge step!
travelled far to find something close to the heart,
and basically, trying to make the best of what life have to offer.
C'est la vie!
Au revoir 2006!
i had one of the best chinese new year ever, the first i have ever celebrated in my own home, ipoh. of all my 28 years, we have always spent the chinese new year at the grandparents, either in alor star, penang or thailand. but this year was special. we had the honoured guest, my grandma, staying with us. it was a memorable time, with so many loved ones under our roof, laughter and food intermingling with plentiful of good spirits (of the intangible and the drinkable type).
it was the year i knew where to draw the line and say enough! i will not take anymore b*ll and left my previous employment before my senses left me. i also realised that my most precious priority was my family and my loved ones, and that there was more to life than just earning the buck.
i moved back home to where my heart actually is, and every moment i managed to spend with my grandma was like a piece of the rarest and most precious jewel to keep. for little did we know that she would leave us and join my grandfather for eternity. it also gave me the chance to be my mother's side while we try to use our pain to fill a void that will never be the same again.
through the grief, an anchor held me steady and where one journey was ended, another began. kelvin's proposal was my happiest moment, yet a sad one too. for i would dearly love to have ah ma by my side on the day that i said "I DO".
i am lucky to meet a like-minded boss and start building my career in ipoh, but luckier still that it gave my family the chance to have our best trip ever. going to australia felt more like a homecoming than a visit with so many of our relatives there. its almost like a parallel home.
in a nutshell,
i have loved and lost,
took the road less travelled,
deconstruct and rebuild,
lived some traditions, made some new ones,
said "I do" and took a huge step!
travelled far to find something close to the heart,
and basically, trying to make the best of what life have to offer.
C'est la vie!
Au revoir 2006!
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