something to be proud of...

not too long ago, in our malaysian dailies, splashed across the front pages were these statements : "we are so-n-so's somebody n proud of it"...

well, nothing wrong in that except that ...the somebody was a prime suspect for a murder case. in fact, this was noted by the murder victim's father...who questioned what was there to be proud of???!!!

to be the first malaysian to conqer the himalyans...that's something to be proud of.
to be the first in the family to get a degree...that's something to be proud of.
to be the person to be help out at an accident scene (instead of just slowing down to get the plate number for investment at toto of 4-D)..that's something to be proud of.

i seriously cannot understand what is there for the family of the murder suspect to be proud of???!!!

if my dad was in a trial for possible murder, i would not be shouting my pride for the nation to see.
if my husband was having an affair with another woman, i would not like that to be made public.
if my boss was to have his integrity and his actions questioned, i would be asking the same questions myself.

even though the verdict has not been reached, even though one is innocent until proven guilty, let us keep our senses and act with a sense of decorum.

don't abuse the limelight for a moment of sensation. it would be easier to win the public's sympathy with an appropriate show of support, not make a circus out of it!

nor is this the time to make the headlines with statements and photos of untruths. its a real shame how morals and intelligence erode in the bright glare of spotlights...perhaps they were never there in the first place?

show us something that malaysians can be proud of. it is after all our country's 50th birthday.

proud to be a malaysian?

PROUD TO BE A MALAYSIAN!!!!

amazing

amazing....i seem to be obsessed with songs from this group called blue october...
perhaps its the amazing way how they manage to coax the guitar to sound so tender?
perhaps its the amazing heart-rending lyrics?
perhaps its the amazing tugging of my emotions when i listen to the songs?
amazing how our ears catch the song, our minds digest the words and our souls embrace the essence....
truly amazing...

AMAZING- by blue october

How am I supposed to breathe?
I try to relax. I touch your still frame
So I can watch you closer
And study the ways I believe I belong to you
I scratch at your waist line... your doll hair
I dig up the thought of how your eyes glow
So I make you my religion, my collision, an escape goat
So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?

(Chorus) Can you pretend I'm amazing?
I can pretend I'm amazing...
Instead of what we both know
I cut to the punch line baby
Can you pretend I'm amazing
Instead of what we both know

Now our history is for sale
And for that I apoligize
You see you're my only know how
The study of when I believe I belonged to you
You see I've made you into something delicious,
My sweet ghost
So have I found your secret weak spot, baby?

(Chorus)

music be the food of my soul

when i was young, the hormones and the angst of adolescence nearly drove me (and my parents) up the wall. the changes i was going thru was just too much for me to handle. i couldn't understand why i felt so frustrated, helpless, angry, alone, unloved. the feelings were not warranted and this made me feel even worse. i was not an easy person to be around with then, not that i am much better now, but the people around probably learned how to ignore me better...eh? :p

then, as now, i found a haven in music. i could envelope myself, dive deep into its fathoms and lose myself in the almost tangible quality of music. i listened to almost anything (screeching banshees was the one place i drew a line..... and whatever house is supposed to be). oldies from my parent's memories, chinese songs, hindi hits, classics...whatever that resembled the turmoil inside me. as long as i can just listen, without need to analyse, it would do. i didn't have to understand the lyrics, as long as i "felt" the music, it was fine.

the warm vocals of jacky cheong and the sad quality of anne murray was so close to the depressive state i was sometimes in that it almost seems i could hibernate in their songs. happy moods called for cheery songs. the opening whistles of the song "don't worry, be happy" always puts a skip in my step, no matter how bad the day. and of course, no maniacal bum/arm swinging (otherwise known as dancing) was complete without my favourite bass thumping R&B.

in fact, i can practically tag my memories by songs. crazy summer afternoons horsing around with my mate in uni to the jolly sounds of herman hermits. the sappy, saccharin syrup of david bedingfield during the courting by the lucky guy who got me hook, line n sinker. the almost weightless song, "leaving on a jet plane" seeming to carry my wheels when i finally learned how to cycle.

even now, not much has changed (weight/taxes/mundane crap aside). when i am in a mood ; maybe a patient under my care has died. an impending dateline. a breakup. my wedding. without music, it would all have passed quietly into the background, instead; the albums of my life are not merely "black n white silent movie type" memories, but rather, bursting in glorious technicolour and dbb surround sound system!!!!

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


The Road Not Taken is a poem by Robert Frost, published in 1916 in his collection Mountain Interval.


i was reading a book recently, and i chance upon this poem. i have always been intrigued by the meaning of the poem, and how it always seems to appear unexpectedly at moments in my life when i seem to be at a point where the roads diverge.

in retrospect, the most significant decision of my life was to agree when my mom suggested that i transfer to Sam Tet to continue my form six studies. by norm, i was supposed to proceed to another school after my high school, but my parents decided that i would be much too distracted if i was to go there. besides, Sam Tet was famous for its excellent STPM records. n my sis was already there.

of course, a change of scene did not deter me from getting involve actively in the extra-curricular activities, and soon i was involved in the english club. little did i know that meeting my club advisor's family would influence my life greatly. her son became one of my best buddies and her husband, a vet, introduced to me an option i didn't know i had. i found my life's passion for healing all creatures, big and small.  

which lead me to vet school. i have memories n stories to last me a life time, and friends who stood by me thru thick n thin. it was a friend from vet school who introduced me to a special person. the man who would become the love of my life.

and it all could be back tracked to the point where i made the decision to take the road less travelled by, and THAT has made all the difference!

although sometimes when i am in my more pensive moods, i do look back and wonder about the road not taken....

amounts to nothing!

i have been slaving for the past few days, weeks i think. to get ready for a big event. but how can so much effort seems to amount to nothing? the mountain of errands seems to grow with a will of its own. getting so much done, more seems to pop out...do the errands multiply when we turn away? do they have this supernatural power to grow n grow?

help! i think i'm sinking!!!! i'm going to be glad when the wedding is actually over n i get to rest a little. it is beginning to seem like a herculean task. n to think we opted for a simple affair. i can't imagine running one on a grand scale! and i am not even doing this alone! despite the many hands, the work does not seem to lighten!

forgive my grousing, i just can't wait for the honeymoon..which reminds me...i haven't even plan for that yet!!!!